Home Advice & How-ToFamily When it’s Time to End a Family Feud
Home Advice & How-ToFamily When it’s Time to End a Family Feud

When it’s Time to End a Family Feud

by Spokeo

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Families are complicated. With so many relationship dynamics and so much history at play it’s nearly impossible to go through life without encountering some kind of family drama, from minor to estrangement. Family feuds are tough on everyone, not just the participants. Spokeo believes it’s always worth finding a way to bridge the gap if possible…family is important!

So, when is it time to bury the hatchet and end a family feud once and for all? Here are a few signs to look for.

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…When the feud has trickled down to other family members.

Maybe the feud started when your aunt said something disrespectful to your mother. The two of them haven’t spoken in decades, but now you notice the animosity has spread to you and your cousins. It’s hard not to take sides in a family feud – everyone feels loyalties – but once the original issue becomes murky and a feud exists simply because no one ever ended it, it may be time to step up to the plate.

…When the kids are starting to ask questions.

It’s a lot easier to carry animosity when children aren’t involved. When young children in the family start asking questions about why they don’t get to spend holidays with their grandparents or where Uncle Billy’s been, it may be time to act like an adult and settle the feud. Children are like sponges and they absorb everything, even the unsaid. You don’t want to breed family resentment into a whole new generation and the best way to avoid that is to end the feud while they’re still young.

…If the issue is easily solvable.

Most family feuds start over silly, petty things. Maybe someone said something nasty or someone loaned someone money they never got back. If the situation started with a tangible slight, fix it! In some cases that can be as simple as a heartfelt apology (even if it needs to be by letter or email) and in others it might take a gesture such as a check. Ask yourself how much it’s worth to you to preserve the feud. Are you more worried about your pride than you are about your familial bonds?

…If it’s been so long the family has lost track of one another.

If you’ve lost track of one or more family members, it’s a good sign that your feud has gone on too long. Particularly when something like a wedding or death in the family comes up, it’s hard not to notice that no one knows how to get in touch with Jimmy, or even whether he’s okay. Families are about sticking together no matter what, so at the very least you should know where your family members are even if it’s too raw to get in touch. People search engines like Spokeo can help you find information on relatives you’ve lost touch with in case you do decide to reach out.

Are you in the middle of a family feud? There’s nothing more important than loved ones and every family needs a hero. Maybe that’s you! Get some counseling, talk to your trusted loved ones, and make a plan for ending the strife once and for all. In a few years you may not even remember what you were fighting about in the first place.